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XKCDB: The #xkcd Quote Database

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#11156 (+1/-0)
<Diana> Mum just came up to me asking me how to spell Che Guevara
<Diana> Showed me the screen of her mobile phone where she'd tried to google it
<Diana> She'd typed "Sheik Avara"


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#11155 (+63/-76)
<Bucket> mavis beacon is worthless
<rik> unless you're Mavis Lost. Then it's Mavis Useful.


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#11153 (+183/-203)
<Lisimba> tonyb486: so you're in New York, right?
<tonyb486> yep
<Lisimba> tonyb486: do you know approximately in what direction Trump is, relative to you?
* tonyb486 points roughly 45 degrees to the left of his monitor
<tonyb486> I can see 1 world trade center, he is in that general direction
<Lisimba> Can you do me a favor and just... flip off in that direction really hard? Like both middle fingers and all.
<tonyb486> done
<Lisimba> Thanks, that makes me feel a bit better.
<tonyb486> any time


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#11152 (+219/-231)
<CO2> botsnack
<dice> :D
<@billygoat> :D
<Bucket> :O
<CO2> :D
<@Kalium> :D
<multi> :D
<tech_exorcist> :D
<Agafnd> :D
<Diana> :D
<amby> :D
<tonyb486> :D
<k_strel> :D
<mothman> :\/


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#11151 (+403/-374)
< Bucket> nascar is just a turn to the left
< SpicyLemon> And then a juke to the riyiyiyight.
< SpicyLemon> You put your hands on the wheel! And stomp your foot down tiyiyight. It's the engine thruuust, that really drives you insayayane. Let's do the left turn again!!!


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#11150 (+708/-748)
<tonyb486> the hot dogs represent penises. it is a metaphor. symbolism.
<tonyb486> it is because they are penis shaped
<tonyb486> ...wrong window


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#11149 (+761/-749)
< nobody> here's some photographs i took in a building https://imgur.com/a/aonPZwD
< k_strel> damn that's some spooky silent hill type shit right there
< k_strel> i'd love to go urban exploring but would need several backup pairs of underwear
< nobody> thats actually in the actuive building i work in lol
< nobody> the racking system won't ever function again, we do store pallets in between the racks though, had to cut out the rails to do so easily
< tai> k_strel: that's what diapers are for I guess
< k_strel> take nothing but photographs, leave nothing but shitted nappies
< cheapie> k_strel: Even easier fix, do it naked
< tai> that sounds like a fast track to tetanus
* Caffeine walks into the convo, reads the few last lines, does a 180 on his heel and walks back out


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#11147 (+861/-885)
<CO2> https://killedbymicrosoft.info/
<Bucket> Microsoft is not good at naming
<teatwo> Microsoft is good at maiming.


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#11146 (+893/-931)
<Caffeine> When you don the skin of the beast, the man within dies
<Char|ie> okay but the skin of the beast is super floofy and you can acquire it in more than one way
<Caffeine> Maybe the man inside is no longer required?
<Char|ie> that's what i told myself
<Char|ie> sometimes i wonder what was lost
<Char|ie> when that happens, it's time to skin another beast
<Caffeine> ~ It's the CIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE ~


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#11145 (+851/-958)
<k_strel> it's 0038 and birds are singing outside, it's still dark
<k_strel> this is oddly terrifying to me
<Caffeine> k_strel: apply corrective force?
-*- k_strel punches a bird in the balls
-*- k_strel also wonders, do birds have balls?
<Caffeine> I think that is a question with multiple answers, depending on audience and context
<k_strel> the one i punched in the balls had balls, i think
<Caffeine> I concur


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#11143 (+927/-879)
< ArdaXi> minecraft is a popular video game made by microsoft
< tonyb486> a video game?
< tai> what would you call it?
< k_strel> a dvd game
< tonyb486> like, a game that is made of video?
* tonyb486 tilts head
<@barometz> "but I can already see a boardgame"
< tonyb486> oh is it like, a board game but on home video ?
< tonyb486> "please fill out the turn card and mail it in the included return envelope along with a check or money order for $11.95 to receive the next cassette."
< ArdaXi> you know the thing where you drag the cards around that you do when you're pretending to do work?
< ArdaXi> it's like that
< tai> jira?
< ArdaXi> …okay that's good


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#11142 (+894/-836)
< Bucket> What's 20% of a factoid?
< tonyb486> f∂


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#11140 (+956/-889)
<CO2> my band's name is 999 MB.
<CO2> We still don't have a gig.
<Agafnd> my band's name is 1TB
<Agafnd> we've played close to a thousand gigs now, but our promoter isn't clear on exactly how many more we're supposed to play...


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#11139 (+855/-862)
<Bucket> king is DEAD LONG LIVE THE KING
<tbo> who wants to be king of this channel anyway?
<tech_exorcist> Bucket
<Bucket> I am juicing


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#11138 (+1058/-1002)
<Bucket> gold is the most malleable and ductile metal; a single gram can be beaten into a sheet of one square meter, or an ounce into 300 square feet.
<Agafnd> , mr. bond


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#11137 (+925/-976)
<teatime> why are there so many
<teatime> songs about rainbows
<teatime> and what's on the other side...
<teatime> rainbows are visions
<Bucket> Was that a haiku?


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#11136 (+968/-1048)
<CO2> youtube channel "be smart" has a video about "how scientists made the hottest thing ever"
<CO2> so please hold on while I go watch that vid about ur mom


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#11135 (+947/-954)
<CO2> reminder that New York City ordnances, which are public information, have a law saying that it is illegal for unauthorized persons to own a special key that can be used by firefighting personnel to enter basically any building...... and then it proceeds giving enough detail of that key so that any keymaker can easily make a reproduction
<tonyb486> CO2: is firefighting key real? I thought it just controlled elevators
<tonyb486> I know plenty of buildings that just have ... a regular lock cylinder, or a mul-t-lock, etc
<tonyb486> I don't think the whole city is master keyed
<CO2> tonyb486: well I think it might also be able to open like... firefighting cabinets and stuff
<tonyb486> CO2: hmm ok
<CO2> not random doors but enough places where you could cause trouble
<tonyb486> you can just buy these on amazon
<tonyb486> https://www.amazon.com/2642-NYC-Fire-Service-Key/dp/B07QYC41RW
<tonyb486> i googled it looking for an article and got a picture and amazon listing with one-day shipping
<tonyb486> amazon will not ship me this knife with a 2-inch blade: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000KSCEH4, but will ship me that key tomorrow
<tonyb486> the knife isn't even illegal
<CO2> why will they not ship it?
<CO2> are you dangerous?
<Bucket> Only to soft fleshy things.


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#11134 (+933/-1058)
<teatwo> I'm gay and I'm on the apps but no lie it took me a couple of years to learn how to type the peach emoji cuz I thought the picture was an apricot.


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#11133 (+1056/-1086)
<Loomysh> turn off bucket for a day or two
<Loomysh> such unnecessary spam
<Bucket> "Such Unnecessary Spam" would be a nice name for a rock band.

#11130 (+1091/-1066)
<Bucket> gaydar is gay detection and ranging
<doskel> prior to the invention of the gaydar, gays had to find possible partners using the stars and a homosextant
<Helle> doskel: these days they use gayps


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#11129 (+1006/-1030)
--> k_strel (~k_strel@DFDE1253:A8224179:157F2E3F:IP) has joined #xkcd
<k_strel> dice: coffee or bed
<dice> bed
<k_strel> FUCK
<-- k_strel (~k_strel@DFDE1253:A8224179:157F2E3F:IP) has quit (Quit: k_strel)


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#11128 (+1084/-994)
<gargleblaster> WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPSLOCKING ON CAPSLOCK DAY?
<Cortana> gargleblaster: because you're tempting billygoat
<k_strel> BECAUSE EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU NEED TO STEER, DOES NOBODY READ THE FUCKING RULES ANYMORE
-- billygoat set [+b *!~k_strel@DFDE1253:A8224179:157F2E3F:IP] on #xkcd
-- billygoat kicked k_strel (Goat-ed)
<Bucket> This is a sign of infraction.
<Cortana> ...
<Bucket> [khmer hastily puts his pants back on.]
<Cortana> Q.E.D.
<@Kalium> occasionally you do still get struck by lightning
<sr-> BILLYGOAT SUXX
-- Kalium set [-b *!~k_strel@DFDE1253:A8224179:157F2E3F:IP] on #xkcd
-- k_strel (~k_strel@DFDE1253:A8224179:157F2E3F:IP) has joined #xkcd
<k_strel> i guess billygoat still reads the rules
<@Kalium> billygoat has actually just developed a sense of comedic timing


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#11127 (+1016/-1032)
--> CORN (~corn@383C019D.EE3298A.86E1E683.IP) has joined #xkcd
<CORN> CORN
<CORN> hi
<Thedarkb> CORN?
<Thedarkb> CORN.
<CORN> MAIZE
<rift|mask> Corn!
<CORN> cornography
<CORN> cornology, the study of corn
<-- CORN (~corn@383C019D.EE3298A.86E1E683.IP) has quit (Quit: CORN)


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#11126 (+1070/-1024)
<k_strel> i'm not uninformed, i just disagree with you


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#11125 (+997/-1043)
<rift|mask> Bucket, dwarf fortress
<Bucket> dwarf fortress is http://www.threepanelsoul.com/comic/on-dwarven-fortresses
<rift|mask> "excuse me Sir but is your lunchbox... mewing?"
<rift|mask> ooh
<rift|mask> cat named lunchbox
<k_strel> brings a whole new meaning to eating pussy


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#11124 (+1073/-958)
<Bucket> sec is 1/cos
<Lisimba> sex is 1/cox


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#11123 (+1052/-1028)
<betawaffle> i like birds. what are we talking about?
<k_strel> birds
<tonyb486> birds


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#11122 (+1059/-1025)
<Lisimba> maia has ping timeouted 637 times so far this year.
* maia has quit (Ping timeout: 246 seconds)
<tonyb486> 638


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#11121 (+1049/-981)
<CO2> https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/mar/15/uk-to-invest-900m-in-supercomputer-in-bid-to-build-own-britgpt
<CO2> oi, it's chavgpt, innit?


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#11120 (+1028/-1061)
<CO2> I tend to pronounce it with a dutch g
<BytesAndCoffee> like van *coughs violently*
<BytesAndCoffee> ?
<CO2> BytesAndCoffee: yes


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#11119 (+1086/-1103)
<tonyb486> my elbow is making a lot of noises today
<tonyb486> when i move my wrist
<CO2> wait
<CO2> tonyb486: there's a solution for that
* CO2 hands tonyb486 a jar of elbow grease


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#11116 (+1119/-1118)
<tech_exorcist> holy fuck
<Bucket> holy fuck is how Jesus was born
<SpaceHobo> Common misconception
<SpaceHobo> (The opposite of a holy fuck}


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#11115 (+1094/-1099)
* japo starts a resin print, again
<japo> had to abort yesterday because the film on the resin tank was too fucked ~_~
<Kliment> yet another dong?
<japo> I'm going to keep printing dongs until I find something more useful :p


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#11114 (+1139/-1072)
<Bucket> stereo can math circles around all of us
<stereo> it's true. x^2+y^2 > y'all


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#11113 (+1061/-1109)
<japo> okay, 24V in and no smoke
<japo> and 5V out!
<japo> so that's good so far
<Walther> \o/
<Walther> now where did you put those extra v's
<japo> I turned them around and made them into As
<Walther> excellent work


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#11111 (+1086/-1013)
<taixzo> do you guys pronounce ROM as "rome" or "rahm"?
<JoeyLemur> Latter.
<cheapie> Latter here too.
<taixzo> aw. I've been designing a computer in minecraft and just finished the ROM, but I guess I can't make a pun on having built ROM in a day.


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#11109 (+1102/-959)
<CO2> IIRC you can turn regular jeans into nitrocellulose jeans by soaking them in concentrated nitric acid for a while
<CO2> then you can wear them and catch on fire really easily
<CO2> there are no downsides


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#11108 (+1018/-1000)
< XanT> I think Id probably go to Chicago if ever I was to visit America. Ive heard its nice, and I want one of them deep dish pizzas.
< IceKarma> XanT, Chicago is also described as the Murder Capital of America
<@Char|ie> if you don't commit at least one murder, have you really visited america?


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#11104 (+1072/-1046)
<Lisimba> Python really needs better multi threading.
* multi threading
<Bucket> threading is impossible to get right.


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#11101 (+1136/-996)
<Carbon_monoxide> "this brick of butter is rock hard after sitting in the fridge and I need it to be smearable... let's just put it in the microwave for just a couple seconds"
<Carbon_monoxide> Nobody told me that the "paper" wrapper I left around it was actually paper-covered tin foil
<Carbon_monoxide> it's ok I didn't burn my house down.


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#11100 (+1090/-1068)
< ender> these days my signature is a squigly line, but I somehow manage to make the squigglecccccctefcvhrcgrfttivbgnbkhegdjtrtnfelndrtnf
< ender> …my cat just touched my yubikey


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#11097 (+1166/-1014)
<BytesAndCoffee> stereo: what about a deluxe bacon cheeseburger?
<stereo> i'm against bacon on sandwiches
<stereo> it is the wrong choice
<stereo> if you really need smoky pork involved put a slice of ham in
<BytesAndCoffee> ham does not a hamburger make
<stereo> it does raise interesting terminology problems, maybe that's why nobody sells them that way
<stereo> hamhamburger?
<BytesAndCoffee> ham^2burger
<stereo> 2ham2burger


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#11096 (+981/-1101)
<@barometz> neat, I just found a bug in my electric kettle
* mothman (~mothman@99180228:3B8BE8D8:6D36E2AB:IP) has joined
<@barometz> .. a software/electronics defect, not a moth


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#11095 (+1120/-1093)
<tbo> I heard recently that in astronomy everything beyond hydrogen and helium is called a metal
<taixzo> yeah
<BytesAndCoffee> yup
<BytesAndCoffee> more than 2 protons? you're a metal
<taixzo> by that standard, Russia is a metal
<BytesAndCoffee> ur mum's a metal
<tbo> taixzo: in russia metal is russia


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#11094 (+1063/-1092)
<tech_exorcist> Bucket: the climate is a hot mess
<Bucket> tech_exorcist: Your mom is a hot mess!


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#11093 (+1077/-1035)
<@Char|ie> morning
* Bucket hands Char|ie a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, the key to world domination, toast, a bowl of cereal, and a glass of orange juice
<@Char|ie> all my favourites!


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#11092 (+1034/-1174)
< Agafnd> matrix movie (movie about the matrix chat protocol)
< DannyGlands> matrix movie (about rectangular arrays of mathematical objects)
< Ahrotahntee> matrix movie (a documentary about OpenGL)


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#11091 (+1115/-1124)
< Thedarkb-Work> I just heard my boss shout "This is impossible to automate and no system on the planet could do what you just said,"
< Thedarkb-Work> Sounds like the migration is going well.


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#11089 (+1063/-1091)
<Bucket> clarinet is a gateway instrument
<rik> it leads to sax and violins.

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